


Shatter Me

by Devil_kizuna



Category: Monsta X (Band), VIXX
Genre: Angst, Demons and Angels, Fantasy, Ghosts, Heaven and Hell, Hurt, M/M, Mystery, Pain, Sad, SpookyBingoMX, maybe other group members appear, maybe the ratings will change as story progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-01-06 04:02:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devil_kizuna/pseuds/Devil_kizuna
Summary: A person who doesn't even remember himself suddenly has to remember too much!Someone calls him, he can't find who."Let me out!" he hears along with a beating heart. But there is no one there.Could it really be an auditory hallucination, or there is more to things than we see and perceive?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Guys welcome to my new chaptered fic! This is going to be a long crazy ride! for now, i havent written other chapters as i wanted to complete my last box of MONSTA X SPOOKY BINGO, which is my roommate is a ghost!  
i hope you guys enjoy this. i will put trigger warnings where needed and the rating may change as more chapters are under work!  
leave a kudos or comment, its much appreciated.  
from: Devil_K

_Thumping sound of a beating heart. No one hears it but me. There is loud music in the house, everyone dancing, drinking, screaming and talking._

_But not even a single soul hears that heartbeat._

_It took everything in me to stop, but I couldn’t. I asked my friends, if they could hear it. Instead they took the cup from my hand, telling me I drank too much._

_Truth to be told, I was only drinking water._

_I pushed them and went to the open balcony._

_I could still hear that heart._

_“Let me out!”_

_Ever since I came here, I keep hearing those shouts at random times. Sometimes in the middle of the night. I keep hearing a beating heart._

_I am so scared._

_“Who are you?” I once asked, but no reply._

_None of my friends are ready to accept it or believe me. I want to change houses, or move away again. But I don’t remember much about myself either. Except few solid facts._

_“Let me out please!” I heard the deep whisper again… a tear rolled down my eye. I don’t know, the voice seems to be in such immense pain, it physically hurts to listen. But I don’t have any other choice._

_They will send me back to that white room, if I don’t pretend to be okay._

_“Help me.” the words escaped my lips before I could stop them._

_“Let me out! And I will!” the air hit my neck. Like someone just breathed on my neck or close._

_I was too scared and shocked to turn around._

_“Hey, Kihyun what are you doing here?” Minhyuk asked as he slid his hand around my shoulder._

_“Nothing.” I answered. Who was that just now?_

_Am I going crazy?_


	2. Desolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything feels empty, desolate. It's all empty and weird. Everything is complete but still not complete.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry guys it took so long. From now on, every Thursday is an update day! and if it isn't please do curse me. I am sorry. ENJOY.  
from devil_kizuna

Chapter# 01 DESOLATION

A nurse assisted me outside where my friend? Yeah, I think friend, they waited for me there.

“Mr. Yoo, you are now completely capable of living in society without any major problems. Good luck, and if you ever need help, come back or try contacting Dr. Jung.” She said and left.

Minhyuk walked towards me and smiled.

“Ready to hit it off!” he asked and I nodded.

I was still confused about the events of 3 months ago. But I am okay now, I guess. There is this continuous emptiness I feel, but other than that, I am okay.

I don’t remember much about myself other than my name, age, and passion.

I am a photographer, and I used to work with a really famous magazine. I lived alone but, according to my friends, my place burned down and injured me to the point that I lost my memories.

What I don’t understand is that, how come I never had any burn marks, other than one on my shoulder.

Anyways, since he forgot pretty much everything, other than language and basic survival instincts, he was admitted in a psychic ward for help.

He received 3-month therapy by Dr. Jung Taekwoon, a very silent but kind man. Not much older than Kihyun himself.

And that’s the end of it.

“You can stay with me for as long as you want okay Ki!” Minhyuk exclaimed, eyes looking at Kihyun worryingly.

“I know Minhyuk.” He replied, rather monotonously.

“You used to just call me Min.” Minhyuk replied with hurt evident in his words.

“I am sorry.” Kihyun wasn’t really apologetic, but nothing else could be done in a situation like this.

They got to Min’s place where the others were waiting for him.

“KIHYUN HYUNG!” Jooheon hugged Kihyun tightly and Kihyun’s lips tilted upwards a little.

“How are you honey?” Kihyun asked when they broke the hug.

“I am awesome, but how are you doing?” quickly changing the topic back to older.

“I am fine.” Kihyun answered as everyone hugged him one by one. Wonho held his wrist and dragged him back to the couch.

“Are you sure you are ready Kihyun? To start anew?” he asked, voice soft like a whisper and Kihyun nodded.

“I am, hyung. I know I still don’t remember quite a lot but Taekwoon hyung said, with time I will learn.” Kihyun smiled.

“Okay, but if anything is ever troubling you, you can tell anyone of us okay!” Wonho made sure Kihyun got that through his head.

“Yeah, okay.”

No matter how many times, his group would drag him out for dinner or when sometimes Minhyuk and Jooheon take him for movies or help him with job hunting. Or when Wonho takes him to the gym so they can work and let the stress go, all those times, there is this feeling. Like something is missing, like he isn’t whole. Everything is complete except him, everyone is complete but him.

With time, he learns to ignore that feeling too, like every other feeling, the one which comes at night; loneliness. The one that comes when he looks at his tattoo, yeah, he has one. No one knows and he is sure of it. Its on his left thigh, it looks good, but he feels anger when he looks at it and then heart wrenching sadness.

The tattoo is by no means a loving one or sweet. It was menacing and looked cool, but Kihyun felt an emotional attachment with it.

Everything was ignored by Kihyun these days. Every feeling was shut in the back of his mind.

“So, you ready to move huh!” Minhyuk asked and Kihyun nodded, taking his few remaining things and neatly packing them in a backpack.

“Kihyun, are you sure you are ready?” Minhyuk asked again, this worry in their voices whenever Kihyun does something remotely big. It annoys Kihyun but he doesn’t say anything.

“Yes, Minhyuk I am ready, I have been living with you for six months, I have a job, its stable, my account have money in it. I can handle myself. Plus, I really like this place I got.” Kihyun answered as they both got in Minhyuk’s car. Minhyuk turned on the radio and believer by imagine dragons played out.

Kihyun was enjoying the song when Minhyuk turned it off and Kihyun gave him a hard glare. Eyes almost shinning red.  
“I am sorry dude, chill. I need you to listen to this song, it’s Joo’s favorite these days but I just cannot bring myself to like it.” Min said in defense as he played Myself by Bazzi.

“It is a good song.” Kihyun gave his insight and Minhyuk shook his head.

“How? Dude this guy is literally talking about himself and how he is ok by himself.” Min argued.

“Sometimes people are!” Kihyun said with a soft voice.

His new place was 15 minutes away from Minhyuk’s. The shifting wasn’t much a hassle as Kihyun didn’t had many items to begin with. Other than his clothes, camera and other equipment.

“Well, the furniture is already installed and it all looks so new.” Minhyuk said, quite surprised.

“Yeah, it is. Mrs. Kim said that the boy living here just hurriedly left saying to give all his stuff to the next tyrant.” Kihyun replied, stirring the noodles.

The apartment had a living room and one bedroom. Kitchen was attached to living room and was a little spacious. Every furniture was installed but none of the personal belongings were there. Like a hotel room.

“Hmm, seriously how people are that generous is out of my mind at least.” Minhyuk shrugged.

“People can be nice.” Kihyun answered as he carried the pot to the dining table. The table was black but the chairs were white. It looked nice, whoever lived here before had a nice eye for color.

Soon Minhyuk left, and Kihyun cleaned the place a bit more. He was in the bathroom trying to adjust his cabinet with shampoo and various things, right after he showered. When he heard something, like a beat…

He looked back, but the noise grew. He went to the bedroom to where the noise was the loudest, but it was echoing. He felt dizzy. His world becoming black, and his eyes feeling heavier by the second.

“Who… who is there?” he asked, but no one answered.

“Who’s there?” he asked again, the beat becoming louder. It felt like a heart beating right in his ear.

He shook his head and covered his ears, but he could still hear it. He screamed and wailed, for it to stop. He asked a thousand times who was there.

He felt himself slipping away. When a voice finally answered.

“Let me out! Help me.”


	3. Too Much/Not Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At Times, our feelings become too much, everything becomes too much. But even when its too much, it is never enough!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, here we go! Third chapter. I hope you like it.   
from: Devil-Kizuna.

Chapter# 02 Too Much/Not Enough

Kihyun groaned as the sun rays softly touch his face.

“The fuck happened?” he got up, realizing he was on the floor. He looked around and his eyes fell on the clock. It was 9:00 am and he had half an hour to get ready before today’s photoshoot starts. He washed his face, remembering he showered last night. Changed and decided to ditch breakfast. Took a taxi, instead of a bus.

He reached five minutes before his first official photoshoot after the whole amnesia shit.

“Kihyun, you are here!” Hakyeon said. Cha Hakyeon was their team leader and in-charge of the magazine editing group.

“Yes, Hakyeon Hyung, sorry I am late,” Kihyun said.

Hakyeon quickly led him into the studio and Kihyun started setting up.

The model walked in and Hakyeon led him to the dressing room. Apparently, he was a big shot. What was his name? Kihyun was trying to remember, Hakyeon did tell him. But he has trouble remembering things these days.

“Kihyun, this is Lee Hongbin, you will be working with him for a few days. Hongbin ah, this is Yoo Kihyun, he is our best photographer.” Kihyun smiled slightly and reached out to shake the model’s hands.

“Nice to meet you.” Hongbin shook hands tightly, “again.” he whispered. Kihyun’s eyes widen. He was trying to take his hand back. But the other’s hold on it was too strong. His smile was so wicked and it kick-started all the nerves in Kihyun’s body. The moment Hakyeon turned around, Hongbin let go.

“Where should I be Hakyeon sshi?” Hongbin asked so innocently. Kihyun was shocked beyond anything. What the hell was that just now? Did he know Hongbin before, before he lost his memories?

Too many questions, so as always, he buried them deep and focused on his work.

It went better than Kihyun expected.

Kihyun was on his desk editing the pictures when Hakyeon called him in his office.

He knocked and entered.

“Ah Kihyunnie, sit down.” Hakyeon had this weird sweetness to him. He was really kind and sweet to everybody. And a nice man in general but there was something off with his kindness towards Kihyun. 

“Kihyunnie, I wanted to ask about the photo shoot today? When will the pictures be ready, we have two weeks before we have to publish for the fall season.” He said and Kihyun started calculating in his brain.

There are three more different themed photoshoots left, and he has to at least finalize 80 pictures in total for just fall season, and editing is going to take time.

“I will start editing the pictures as the photoshoots are done, it will take me one week.” He answered after thinking for five more minutes.

“Oh, THAT’S AMAZING!” Hakyeon cheered.

“The last photographer was very slow, it took him at least two weeks for just editing, I am so happy I hired you Kihyunnie, you are really going to make me proud.” Most of the time the way Hakyeon talks, feels like a mama duck, at least to Kihyun it does. For some odd reason, Hakyeon was very excited on the day of Kihyun’s interview and he said that he had heard a lot about Kihyun’s photography, of course, Kihyun had to tell him about his medical issues past 6 months and where he has been, but Hakyeon was neither shocked nor anything else. He accepted Kihyun whole-heartedly. 

“Thank you,” Kihyun said and left the office. He had asked Hakyeon beforehand if he could take the laptop and his things home for editing and Hakyeon was excited to tell him, that yes, of course, he could.

So, he packed up for the evening, took the laptop, camera and the demo magazine home.

He took off his shoes by the door and entered the empty apartment. Kihyun placed the stuff on the coffee table and decided to grab something to eat since the only thing he ate all day was macaroons offered by Hakyeon, also were forced down Kihyun’s throat by him too when Kihyun refused and banana milk, Hakyeon had this weird obsession on those.

‘Imagine Satan drinking banana milk!’ Kihyun thought and chuckled. It was really random but it was still funny.

Kihyun opened his refrigerator to get ingredients for simple fried rice. He wasn’t in the mood to cook something extravagant.

He put the chicken in warm water to defrost as he decided to take a shower till then.

Being busy made him forget the events of the day before.

He turned on the faucet and let warm water fill his tub. Throwing in a cinnamon bath-bomb Jooheon gave him. He stripped and sat down in warm water. Heat filled his senses and his muscles relaxed. He tipped his head back to the edge of the bathtub and closed his eyes.

His thoughts running wild on how to edit the pictures for the autumn theme. But a sound invaded all his thoughts. The beating of a heart.

“Help me!” the voice whispered. “Let me out please.” And Kihyun tried his best to tune it all out. Tried his best to stop. Tried his best but it wasn’t enough.

Not when the voice whispered right next to his ear, “Let me out please.” When cold breathe hit his warm neck.

He wanted to scream, run. Do something. But he was too scared to even get up. To even turn around. His body trembled even in the warmth of the water.

“Who… just who are you?” he asked. No reply came. The beating continued.

Putting the fact as mind’s trick, Kihyun got out with heavy steps once the water became stale.

He cooked fried rice and ate in silence, but it wasn’t so silent.

> _Even when silence has a beating heart, how could anything be peaceful?_

Kihyun made himself a cup of coffee after washing the dishes and started working on the editing of the pictures.

The beating became background music. He ignored it, but couldn’t tune it out of his thoughts.

Around 3:00 am he managed to get all the pictures of the day completed.

He didn’t have the energy to put on a comfortable t-shirt. Instead, he crashed into his bed and just fell asleep in his bath-robe instead.

It was two weeks later when Minhyuk visited to congratulate him on completing his first major project. Kihyun had lost at least 4kg in the past 2 weeks. And to say Minhyuk was worried was an understatement.

“WHAT THE FUCK KIHYUN?” was the first sentence Minhyuk spoke when Kihyun opened the door to greet his friend.

“What?” the poor boy was startled to death.

“WHY THE FUCK YOU LOOK HALF DEAD?” Minhyuk hurried inside and hugged Kihyun. Kihyun lightly patted his back and closed the door.

“What you mean?” Kihyun asked sitting on the couch next to Minhyuk. Minhyuk said he was in the mood for pizza and Kihyun already ordered that, so there was nothing much to do especially since his first project just finished.

“You look so thin, how much weight did you even lose Ki?” Minhyuk asked shaking the other by the shoulders.

“I didn’t lose much, I am fine. Just a little tired after the project. That Hongbin thing is so freaking hard to work with.” Kihyun said laying down in Minhyuk’s lap. The first photoshoot was completely fine, but in second and third, Hongbin kept messing up and making Kihyun’s already hard work, much harder.

Minhyuk chuckled and shook his head.

“Only you would call a model like Lee Hongbin a ‘thing’,” Minhyuk spoke with a chortle in his voice.

Kihyun smiled at Minhyuk’s antics. The pizza arrived soon after and Minhyuk played some series on Netflix.

“So, I was thinking. How about we throw a party here huh? With you finishing your first project and well getting a place of your own?” Minhyuk asked.

“Sure.” Kihyun didn’t hate parties, just didn’t find them particularly interesting for some reason.

“Cool! I am gonna invite a bunch of people.” Minhyuk shoved a whole slice of pizza in his mouth and smiled when Kihyun made a disgusted face.

That’s how the date for the party was settled for next Saturday.

Kihyun had two more small projects during the week. Minhyuk would drop by every other day since Kihyun lost weight.

And then there was the damned voice. It would really come at random times.

Sometimes in the middle of the night, scaring the shit out of Kihyun. Sometimes when he is eating or working. Sometimes when he is showering. Kihyun was scared, but he was even more scared to go back to that room they kept him for six months.

Sometimes Kihyun would sit on the balcony and drink beer, or wine. He would not think at all about anything at all.

He would close his eyes and just breathe deeply. Other times, Kihyun would breakdown in the middle of the bedroom, he would cry himself to sleep. Not because he heard the voice, but because the voice held too much pain, too much sadness that it would hit Kihyun like a train.

> _Too much. It would be too much at times, and nothing at others. _

Saturday came rolling in and Minhyuk arrived early in the afternoon. He brought a bunch of snacks and foods. He told Kihyun that he had already made arrangements of the drinks and whatever little decorations they needed.

Kihyun knew Minhyuk was just trying to help lessen the burden, he felt rather useless. So, he baked some cupcakes and cookies, just because he is good at that.

Jooheon and Shownu soon arrived with drinks and music players and speakers. Kihyun wanted to sigh loudly, he thought the party would take his mind off stuff but, it is going to be loud and Kihyun would rather hear creepy heartbeat than loud music and people screaming their brains out.

Soon people started arriving, other then his five friends, Kihyun had no idea who Minhyuk invited. He swore that he saw a couple making out on his couch, five minutes into the party and Kihyun wanted to set the couch on fire.

Hyungwon started his DJ-ing and loud music filled the house. People started dancing and he saw Shownu dancing as well with Jooheon once side to side started playing. Minhyuk was having the time of his life, going around and chatting with people. Wonho was standing behind Hyungwon and they kept talking and Kihyun swore that Wonho pecked Hyungwon’s cheek but he ignored it.

Kihyun wasn’t in the mood to drink so he grabbed a glass and filled it with water. His mind finding a little peace when his friends surrounded him, asking about this and that. Kihyun smiled. The music was still loud but then he heard the beating louder.

He doesn’t know why but he looked at the others and asked.

“Do… do you hear that?” Wonho looked at him.

“Hear what? The music?” everyone was confused but Kihyun shook his head.

“It’s… it's like a beating heart.” He tried to explain it, “It’s really loud, you don’t hear it at all?” he asked, desperate for someone to say ‘yes, they hear it’.

Minhyuk laughed and took the paper cup from Kihyun’s hand.

“You, my friend, have drank enough.” He said as he emptied the contents in the sink and threw the empty paper cup in the trash can.

“You, you don’t understand.” He whispered and left when his friends started chatting among themselves.

He went to the balcony in his bedroom and just took a deep breath. The beating still loud in his ears.

He sighed and asked, “Who are you?” he was just tired of this daily bullshit.

“Let me out please!” it wasn’t a reply, just another scream. It pained Kihyun to listen to it. It felt like someone was choking him.

“Help me please!” the voice said and Kihyun felt tears rolling down his eyes. He could physically feel the pain of that voice.

His lips trembled as a broken sob left his mouth. If he goes back to Dr. Jung, they will put him in that white room again. he doesn’t want that.

“Help me, please.” The cold air hit his neck as he felt a presence behind him. Kihyun was shocked.

“Help me someone tell me what to do?” Kihyun whispered as he felt the presence behind him, move. He felt arms sliding around his waist and he felt the warmth behind his back. Like someone was giving him a back hug.

“Let me out, find me! and I will help you too.” The voice for the first time answered him and he was frozen in place.

“Hey Ki, what you doing here?” Minhyuk asked as he entered the balcony, the presence behind Kihyun disappeared immediately and Kihyun wiped his face.

“I think I drank a bit too much.” Kihyun smiled. Or tried to. Minhyuk slid an arm around his shoulder and laughed.

“Of course, you did. Let’s go and kick everyone out. It is almost 1.” Minhyuk said and Kihyun didn’t realize time going by that fast.

Everyone left and Minhyuk told him they can clean in the morning. Minhyuk laid down on the couch after getting some of Kihyun’s clothes and Kihyun went to bed.

> _“I will find you.” He whispered to no one but he felt the air getting relaxed._

He wasn’t insane, no. Someone really needed his help and he is going to help them.

Then maybe the void within him will be filled.


	4. Who Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, the truth scares us and the lie comfort us.   
But, truth is something we all will face, no matter how much we run after comfort... 
> 
> Because our truth is who we are...   
So, who are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY, GUYS... the story is going to get excited from here on out! comments and kudos are much appreciated... btw, if u haven't noticed, I love Vixx and Hyuk is my bias...   
hit me up on twitter if u wanna, @sam_kizuna...  
from ur author: devil-Kizuna

Chapter# 03 Who Are You?

Kihyun woke up sometime just after sunrise, the sky was colored with hues of rose-pink, blue and somewhat yellow.

Kihyun washed up and went to the living room to wake Minhyuk up, who groggily went to the bathroom.

While Minhyuk showered, Kihyun started cleaning. After picking up the bigger trash like cups and packs of chips and whatever he found under his sofa which he refused to acknowledge, he turned on his vacuum cleaner.

After cleaning the whole house, and Minhyuk making breakfast, which consisted of toasts and jam and maybe butter with a very bad cup of coffee. They both sat down at the table and were eating.

“You really don’t know how to make a good cup of coffee Min!” Kihyun gruntled as he took another sip.

“Yeah, I know. I mean I can make good tea but coffee always turns out bad.” Minhyuk agreed.

After breakfast Minhyuk left to do god-knows-what. Kihyun sighed as he was finally alone.

> _“Umm, can you hear me?” He whispered while sitting on his bed. _

“FUCKING FINALLY!” He heard the voice and gulped.

“Please don’t curse,” Kihyun said and he heard a low chuckle.

“I am sorry if I scared you. But can you please help me out?” The voice asked again, Kihyun noticed it wasn’t filled with pain anymore, but instead a gentle relief. Kihyun nodded, realizing whatever it is probably can’t see him, he answered a yes.

“First tell me, umm are you trapped in this house or this building? Am I the only one who can hear you? And if yes, then why?” Kihyun spoke fast and he heard the voice chuckling again.

Kihyun, ever since he woke up from whatever happened. He believed in only one thing.

> _Things beyond Human perception exists, not everything needs to make sense, neither it does, but it doesn’t discard the likelihood of such anomalies from existing, just because we refuse to acknowledge them._

“First of all, you aren’t crazy I am real.” The voice continued. “Yes, I am trapped in this house, where I don’t know but all I see around me is one single mirror, so I guess that’s the lead. I can’t see through it though. Duh, it is a mirror. I don’t think no one else can hear me and as to why only you can. I…” It became quiet.

“I don’t know why.” The voice said again.

Kihyun nodded.

“What’s your name? are you a ghost?” Kihyun asked more as he started looking at the mirrors in the house. No matter what this thing is, Kihyun needs to find it.

“I don’t know my name. I only remember waking up here in this mirror and that is it. I think the mirror is blocking my senses and memories. Every time I try remembering, the damn things knock me unconscious,” The voice cursed. After a few minutes of silence, it speaks again, “Or at least that’s the only theory I have.”

Kihyun felt agitated for some reason but pushed it aside.

“Do you remember how long you have been in there?” Kihyun asked loudly as he looked at the bathroom mirror. He was looking for any abnormalities.

He felt crazy, insane and stupid, talking to an unknown voice and looking for a fucking magic mirror.

“I don’t but I do remember one thing. There is this person I keep remembering. I can’t recall the details of their face or anything in general but I know they had pink hair.” The voice said and Kihyun paused. He looked in the mirror and remembered when everyone found him, he too had a lighter shade of pink dyed hair. He gulped.

Ignoring that, he looked at the body-length mirror in his bedroom and sighed.

“I can’t find any fucking mirror that looks abnormal.” He sighed loudly but heard nothing in return, the beating was constant but he didn’t get any replies. Not least that day.

He had more questions. Questions like, why him? and why is there a situation similar? And who is this person? And what do they look like? And why he feels the other’s emotion? Also, why sometimes he feels the physical presence of someone?

The next day, Kihyun came home earlier and saw Wonho outside his apartment.

“Oh, hey Hyung,” Kihyun said as he hurriedly opened the doors. It was fucking freezing out there.

“Kihyunnie. I wanted to meet up, hope I am not bothering.” Wonho asked as he hugged the younger tightly after they entered.

“No Hyung, stop being formal. You can come anytime you want.” Out of all of his friends, Kihyun trusts Minhyuk and Wonho the most. He has been meaning to ask Wonho to meet up. He needs help, from someone who wouldn’t judge him, neither would send him for therapies again.

“Should I order a take-out?” Kihyun asked he wasn’t really in the mood to cook at the moment.

“Sure, whatever suits you.” Wonho smiled as he made a cup of tea for Kihyun and coffee for himself.

He handed the cup to Kihyun who sat down on the couch after getting changed.

“Kihyunnie, I wanted to talk about something.”

“Hyung I wanted to ask something.” Both of them started at the same time. Wonho laughed and nudged Kihyun to go along.

“Hyung, umm. Promise you won’t judge me for this? And promise you won’t think I am crazy!” Kihyun said before starting and Wonho nodded. His face filling with worry.

“Hyung, umm I have been hearing this…” Kihyun hesitated for a moment before Wonho took his hand in his own and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb. Kihyun relaxed.

“Hyung, I am hearing this voice ever since I moved here. I keep hearing this… this heartbeat and sometimes I hear a boy. I… I talked to him yesterday and he said he needs help, and he stuck in a mirror of sorts and he can’t remember anything about himself.” Kihyun said as fast as he could but Wonho caught every single word. His breath hitched and he eyed Kihyun.

“I actually wanted to talk about something similar Kihyunnie. I remembered that day at the party, you seemed troubled and tensed. I will help you any way I can ok. Just trust me and tell me what to do.” Wonho said and the younger nodded.

They both talked about this and that, but Kihyun got too tired after their dinner that he fell asleep in the elder’s lap.

Wonho smiled and brushed his hair aside.

“I am sorry Kihyunnie, I am so sorry that I can’t tell you everything,” Wonho whispered.

> _“You will have to go through a lot of hardships to fill the void.” _

Kihyun woke up the next morning to a chirping sound.

“The fuck…” he mumbled as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked around.

“Oii, you freaky ghost. The hell?” Kihyun asked and heard a chuckle.

“It was fun seeing your face.” The voice spoke with a chuckle in their voice.

“Hmm, fuck you. Anyways what should I call you? Because if one thing is for sure, I can’t keep calling you a ghost or well, whatever goes in my head.” Kihyun said getting out of bed and checking his phone. He saw a text from Wonho saying that he put him on his bed and left.

Kihyun smiled as he heard a gruntle.

“I don’t know.” The voice whispered. Kihyun went to the bathroom after texting Wonho a good morning and texting the same to Minhyuk who demanded that Kihyun should text him every morning or else he will spam!

“Umm, then suggest a nickname I suppose?” Kihyun replied, a little in thought.

“Nickname? Like a short-name… I don’t know my real name; how can I tell you a shortened version of it.” The voice replied, a little too in thoughts.

Kihyun felt silly but he knew that they were far from his own emotions. He still had tons of questions, but he doesn’t want them to become the truth.

> _He needs answers, but truth scares him. _

Kihyun took a shower and got dressed, realizing that he is up a bit too earlier. Deciding to get breakfast from the café, he bids farewell to the unknown being, only hearing the same beats as a reply.

Kihyun made his way to the café he has seen on his way to the office. He enters as a bittersweet aroma of the coffee beans and different pastries fill his nostrils and make him relax in an instance.

The café looks so beautiful, it is cheap but very elegant. And there is something to the aura of the café, like… something very calming.

Kihyun heads to the cashier and waits as a boy who was busy making coffee, cleans his hand and comes to the register.

“Hi, welcome to Starlight Café, what will you… Kihyun Hyung?” the boy asks looking directly at Kihyun, which shakes Kihyun to the core.

Does this boy know him? How?

“Uhm, do I know you?” Kihyun asks and the other sighs.

“So, it’s true. I heard you had amnesia and were in a psychic ward. I can’t believe you forgot me!” The boy pouts and Kihyun starts feeling guilty, this boy knows him and clearly is close, to say something like this but Kihyun can’t even remember a single thing about him.

“Anyways, we can start all over again! I am Han SangHyuk.” SangHyuk took out his hand for Kihyun to shake and Kihyun nervously did so.

The boy, SangHyuk stops Kihyun from ordering and tells him to sit down and he knows the elder’s favorite by heart!

SangHyuk comes to the table Kihyun is sitting at and places a cup of latte and an apple walnut cake in front of him, while a cup of americano for the boy himself.

Kihyun smiles because the other did know his order.

“Thanks,” Kihyun said as the other sat in front of him.

“No worries Hyung,” Hyuk replied, “How are you doing anyways Hyung?”

“I am feeling better, how…umm how are you?” Kihyun asked, feeling rather stupid.

“I am great Hyung! Ken Hyung helps me a lot with the café. It was hard at first but he financially helps me.” Hyuk said and Kihyun nodded, he has no idea who Ken is or that Hyuk, this young boy, owned the café.

“Oh, you don’t remember Ken Hyung do you?” Hyuk asked again, and Kihyun gave him a sad smile.

“It’s okay, seriously! He is going to be here in a few!” Hyuk said excitedly. Kihyun was nervous, he found other people who knew more about him.

‘Why didn’t Min tell me about them?’ Kihyun thought, suddenly not feeling up to meeting anyone.

“Hey, SangHyuk ah, I will come again soon okay. I am actually late for work.” Kihyun said as he took out his wallet to pay but Hyuk refused.

“It’s okay. On the house. Here, give me your number.” Hyuk handed the elder his phone who sighed and typed in his number left after thanking Hyuk.

Kihyun reached his office and started setting the theme for the latest edition of the magazine.

It was pretty late when he finished the demo magazine work and it was only a quarter completed.

Ignoring the slow work, he packed up and went home. Kihyun just threw himself on the couch, he felt really tired that day for some reason. His thoughts running rather wild. He closed his eyes in exhaustion.

_“Kihyun ah, wake up already.” The voice broke his sleep very softly. He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He was on a bed, wrapped in white blankets. He felt fingers running in his hair, massaging his scalp in a tender way. _

_“You always sleep in these days? What’s the matter?” he heard a deep voice and looked up and saw blonde hair, messed up and pointing in every direction. Eyes droopy yet sharp for some reason. A small bead shinning on one of the eyebrows and a smile adorning his face._

_“By the way, your roots are showing!” the boy chuckled. _

_“Why did you dye them pink again?” the boy asked Kihyun as he sat up straight. _

_“Kihyun Hyung. What happened?” the boy’s eyebrows wrinkled in worry. _

> _“I missed you…” Kihyun’s lips moved without his permission. _
> 
> _“Changkyun.” _

Kihyun shoots up from bed, sweat tickling down his neck and forehead. He looked around and found himself back in his home, on the couch.

_“Who is Changkyun?”_


	5. What Am I?

Chapter# 04 What Am I?

The work continued like normal and Kihyun finished three demo magazines which he had to present to Hakyeon in a week. There were just last few touches left.

Kihyun would go home and work some more with the ghost voice keeping him company. Sometimes if he would get too tired sitting, he would start looking for the mirror or anything weird.

“How can I find something when I don’t know what it exactly is?” Kihyun asked no one in particular but the ghost voice answered anyways.

“I don’t know. Ask more about it from that friend of yours!” Kihyun hummed and decided to invite Wonho over the next day.

“Can you remember anything?” Kihyun asked a few moments of silence and he heard a grunt in return.

“Nothing. I feel stupid.” And Kihyun did too.

“Listen, I am going to say something extremely weird but you need to listen to me attentively because you are freaking weird,” Kihyun said and the voice hummed, Kihyun felt intrigued.

With a sigh he started, “I wanted to say that, what if… what if I feel what you do?” Kihyun spoke slowly, testing the waters. Silence filled the room, with only the sounds of two beating hearts.

“That… would be so weird.” The voice replied, a moment of confusion then excitement made way to Kihyun’s mind.

“Okay, see. This is what I am talking about, I was feeling damn confused and now I feel excited for no reason. Do you feel excited?” Kihyun asked as he groaned and leaned back on the bed.

“Well, yes I am excited. Imagine you feel everything I feel. It would be weird but awesome too…” Kihyun waited for his point to settle in the other’s brain.

“Oh wait… doesn’t that mean we somehow know each other?” the voice asked and Kihyun felt confused again.

“Exactly my point. How come I feel your emotions? How is that possible? I mean even if you are some weird being. How can I… a human feels your emotions?” Kihyun asked, rubbing his forehead. His own emotions were enough of a shit case, to feel another’s emotions too.

“That is true…” the voice trailed off, waiting for everything to click but nothing did.

_“Kihyun hyung, look… look at that!” A soft hand-held Kihyun’s and dragged him somewhere. _

_“Oii, oii! Slow down Changkyunnie.” Kihyun spoke his mouth, not in his control. The other came to a stop and pointed at the shop. _

_“Hyung look. I want that!” Changkyun whined and Kihyun smiled. _

_“Okay okay… go and buy it.” Kihyun replied as Changkyun squealed in joy. _

Kihyun woke up again and looked around. Still in his room and not some random street.

> _He couldn’t remember clearly but he knew that those weren’t just dreams. _

Those were his memories. It explains a lot when he says memories but then why? Why never any of his ‘friends’ mentioned that person, or the others like Hyuk or Ken.

“What is going on with me?” Kihyun asked as he got up to grab some water.

“Oh, you are up!” the voice spoke and Kihyun sighed.

“Yeah, I am up,” Kihyun replied. Today he had to go and meet up with Hyuk.

“Where are you going?” the voice asked again and Kihyun turned the shower on.

“Meeting with a friend,” Kihyun replied as he stripped bare and got into the shower. He relaxed as the water hit his skin.

No further questions were asked, as Kihyun got ready and headed towards the door.

He entered the café and it was pretty much empty, save for a few customers and a very enthusiastic blonde behind the counter.

“OH, KIHYUN AH!” Kihyun shivered at the high-pitched voice. He looked at the blonde waving at him.

“Hey… umm,” Kihyun started as the other served the last customer in the shop.

“Ken hyung to you!” the blonde replied with a dazzling smile and Kihyun smiled back. Immediately comfort took over him for some reason.

He felt rather comfortable with Hyuk then with his other friends and it was weird as into why?

“Why did you not come when I was in the ward?” Kihyun asked because he couldn’t delay this any longer.

“What do you mean?” Ken asked, eating his cake and Hyuk looked confused.

“You are my friends, know me since, before my accident or whatever, I have… 27 years worth, memory gap! But none of you showed up, to see me. why?” Kihyun asked he was felt frustrated, with every single thing.

It was as if nothing was making sense, as if someone was trying to build a tower on the foundation of lies…. Just piling one lie on another and another, till the damn tower had collapsed.

“We didn’t know where you were,” Ken replied.

“We did try reaching you hyung, but we were never successful,” Hyuk replied and for some reason, Kihyun felt suffocated.

“I see. I will visit again later. Thank you for being my friends, I need to go to work now.” Kihyun said as he stood up and bid them farewell.

“Hyung, what will we do if Ki hyung remembered?” Hyuk asked, worry starting to creep up on his features.

“We will do something.” Ken sighed…

At work, Kihyun’s temper became a thousand times worse, everything was falling into hell. A colleague accidentally bumped into him, drenching him in coffee.

As he was doing product shot, a new intern broke one of the fragile but most expensive bracelets, almost making Kihyun lost it, right then.

His white shirt was covered with coffee stains, his hair a mess, as Hakyeon tried to talk with the brand of the bracelet, to send them another bracelet and they will cover the damage somehow.

The same intern almost dropped the studio light on Kihyun’s head, if Hakyeon had not grabbed the pole.

Kihyun went home early that day and screamed the moment he stepped into the apartment.

“Fucking shit!” The voice cursed.

“You scared me dude…” the voice replied, but Kihyun was having none.

He threw the cup on the floor, as the glass shattered and he felt hot, sweat dripping from his back and neck. As if molten lava was crawling up his body. Making him more furious.

“WHY. CANT. PEOPLE. FUCKING. DO. SHIT. RIGHT!” Kihyun yelled his frustration out. He felt suffocated, bottled up. like someone refused him even a hint of oxygen.

“Dude, calm down! Oii, you are going to destroy this place, stop it.” The voice felt nervous and so did Kihyun and it was not helping.

“No. I am done. I am fucking done. I have so many memories FUCKING MISSING, EVERYTHING IS SHIT. I don’t even fucking know who is on my side and who is not. I feel worthless! Because I don’t know why I lost my memories… and I am talking to a voice that is there but no one can hear it. FUCK THIS SHIT!” Kihyun screamed again, and it was clear he was having an episode, a kind of panic attack.

Kihyun was enraged, he couldn’t see straight and everything was becoming a mess. Kihyun went to the bathroom and looked at himself. What he saw, shook him out of his anger.

“What the fuck?” it was a mere whisper, he backed away from the mirror, but nothing changed.

> _We seek the truth, but when truth finds us, we would rather live in a lie. _

His reflection showed him, but not him. Instead a being with sharp red eyes, corners turned black, like coal. Face burned with marks, and scales he knew he didn’t have. His hands were grey, like ash, as he touched his face. His hair red as fire lived in them. 

His blood ran cold and he backed away till he slipped in the bath-tub, but before he could land a painful fall, he was stopped. Frozen in midair, because he didn’t want to fall.

His breath came to another halt, as he balanced back on his feet, he closed his eyes and he didn’t open them.

Kihyun groaned as he heard millions of bell ringing in his ear. He blinked a few times for his vision to be clear. The ringing stopped and he realized he was in the bathroom-tub. He slowly got out and walked to the living room, just to see a mess. Shattered glass covered the floor, his laptop bag and camera bag in the entrance, near the shoe rack. His coat hanging half off the sofa and things that should be on the table weren’t on the table.

Kihyun felt a migraine coming as he saw the mess and he sat down for a minute to gather his thoughts, what had just happened. He looked at the clock, indicating it was midnight.

Kihyun closed his eyes as he took a sigh. Suddenly, his thoughts untangled and everything became clear.

His picture became clear.

His eyes shot open and looked around. He ran back in the bathroom, almost slipping on the way. He looked at the mirror, but nothing was different.

He had his normal brown orbs, pale skin. No scales or scars, nothing out of the ordinary. Kihyun sighed in relaxation.

“Must be my imagination.” He said as he turned on the faucet and washed his face. He looked up again, seeing his face clear. Except, one tiny little detail, that his mind probably chose to ignore, to grant him momentarily peace.

A small thing that none would have noticed. A small strand of his hair was still burning red. His breath hitched as water filled his eyes to the brim, everything becomes a blur.

> _“What am I?” he whispered. A broken voice with an equally broken being._

Kihyun cleaned his apartment in pin-drop silence. He cleared everything and changed into black jeans and a hoody. He left the house in order to find some peace. To clear his thoughts, to remember and, to forget.

His feet carried him to nowhere. His head aching with a dull pain. His whole brain was inflamed as he forced his memories to resurface.

The burn marks on his shoulder were itching to the point where Kihyun thought to just itch!

He didn’t though, it would be bad. that is what the doctor said. Till his wound, becomes a scar, he shouldn’t itch or do anything to it. The skin was still sensitive a little.

Kihyun wanted an out for once, he knew everything was shitty but why so much. Why were Minhyuk and Wonho hiding stuff? Why were Ken and Hyuk acting as if they weren’t affected by the fact that their friend lost his entire life’s memories? Why was the voice so real? Why was the that voice the only truth that made sense?

“Am I even named Kihyun?” He asked himself. He clearly doesn’t remember what was the accident or what caused it. They say he was caught in the middle of the fire. What fire and how?

They say no one should talk about it, because it will hurt. Hurt who?

Kihyun was walking and he didn’t know how he ended up in front of Hyungwon’s house. Without thinking much he rang the bell and waited. The door opened and Hyungwon looked like he had been disturbed from a peaceful slumber. Hair pointing in every direction possible. 

“Oh, Kihyun,” Hyungwon said as he stepped aside, eyes blinking heavily. Kihyun came in and Hyungwon closed the door before following. Kihyun doesn’t remember being in this place before. '_Well, it’s not like you only forgot this small unimportant detail.' _His brain threw at him. Clicking his tongue, Kihyun sat down and waited for Hyungwon.

“What bring you here, in the freaking golden time of the night?” Hyungwon asked as he threw himself beside Kihyun on the couch.

“I want to ask you something Won. Minhyuk won’t tell, I tried hinting but he doesn’t. Wonho hyung will probably feel too much pain. And I don’t know who else to ask.” Kihyun cut to the chase, his mind wasn’t into bending the question at the moment.

“Do I need to be more awake for the answer?” Hyungwon asked and Kihyun nodded.

With a sigh, he stood up and looked at Kihyun.

“Do you need coffee?” Hyungwon asked and Kihyun was about to say that alcohol would be a better option for what he was about to address, but instead, he just agreed on coffee. Hyungwon returned with two cups of black coffee.

“Okay, shoot,” Hyungwon muttered as he handed Kihyun his cup. He started mixing sugar in his own cup.

“How did the accident exactly happened Won?” Kihyun dropped the bombshell and Hyungwon’s hands paused for just a slight, before he continued mixing. Kihyn took a sip of his coffee, waiting. 

“None of us knows.” And for the first time, Kihyun felt good. Because what Hyungwon said was true. It was a sincere answer.

“Why did no one tell me?” Kihyun countered.

“Because Minhyuk said that it will put you in stress. We don’t know what happened Ki, the only thing we know is Wonho Hyung found you in the middle of the street, with your shoulder half burnt to hell and blood seeping from every wound.” Hyungwon replied the reason why Kihyun’s heart has chosen Hyungwon’s place was because the other never sugar-coated. Even though Kihyun had forgotten most of what and who Hyungwon was, after he restarted, he found some of it again. and that some contained that if you want your truths sugar-coated and honey glazed, don’t talk to Hyungwon.

“I feel lost. I met two people Won. Han Sanghyuk and Ken, they say they knew me before the accident and they do. They said they didn’t know where I was? How is that possible? They seem not even a single bit affected that I had lost all my memories. I feel weird at times as if I wasn’t who I was pretending. As if there is always more to things then what is shown to me.” Kihyun said as he finished his coffee.

Hyungwon was looking at Kihyun in complete and utter silence.

“Kihyun, do you trust me?” he asked and Kihyun slowly nodded.

“Don’t go near Ken and Hyuk? There are things none of us can explain to you. Till you remember or figure them out by yourself. We know you will. I wanted to tell you but Wonho decided otherwise. And he is right. So, trust us, trust me, trust Wonho and trust Minhyuk. We are doing this all for you. Do not go near them.” Hyungwon was too serious for this all to be a joke. His words told Kihyun to better be careful.

“I know you must not want to trust us. But I won’t stop you either from meeting them. Just, be careful if you do.” Hyungwon said again after a while.

Kihyun gulped and nodded in understanding.

“One more question.” He said and Hyungwon shrugged for him to continue.

“Who is Changkyun?”


	6. My Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always and forever.

Chapter# 05 My Truth

Hyungwon cleared his throat as he looked at Kihyun and motioned him to repeat.

“Who is Changkyun?” Kihyun asked again as the other heave a sigh.

“One of the aspects of your memory that we cannot explain unless you remember clearly,” Hyungwon answered, feeling burdened.

“So, was… was he someone really important?” Kihyun asked and Hyungwon groaned.

“Why are you always so stubborn Ki. We can’t tell you about him until you remember. It is for your own sake.” Hyungwon replied looking shaken.

“Okay, one question. Just one.” Kihyun was desperate at this point, he wanted to know. He was tired and sick of everything. He was incomplete and broken, he didn’t know what he was even and that shit scared him a lot. So, he needed as many answers as possible, even if they have no serious information.

“Was… his voice deep and smooth?” Kihyun asked. He had a theory, his brain composed one, on the way here. He held his breathe and braced himself for the answer.

“Yes, he really did,” Hyungwon answered, feeling dejected. And Kihyun let his breathe go.

“Okay. I will go now. Thank you, Won, thanks for being honest and not hiding.” Kihyun told him and the other nodded.

“You can stay for the night Ki, it is really late.” Hyungwon offered as he looked at the clock.

“No, it’s… it’s okay.” Kihyun got up and thanked Hyungwon again and told him not to tell others about their talk.

Hyungwon promised and Kihyun left.

Kihyun was walking back when he felt a shadow hidden deep in the alleys and refusing to meet with any lingering moonlight or street lights.

Kihyun ignored it with all his might and entered one of the late-night clubs, the loud music feeling his ears and thrumming his heart. The tattoo on his thigh itched and he ignored it.

He slid on the bar and ordered a drink. The bartender with platinum blonde locks looked at him and kept an eye as Kihyun drank shot after shot.

It took him quite a lot of drinking to start feeling woozy. His head lulled as he drank another shot, mind running wild, gears working hard, remembering.

_“Hyung for fuck’s sake, stop drinking!” that deep voice invaded Kihyun’s thoughts, as Kihyun pushed the person away. _

_“They will take everything away Kyun, they will,” Kihyun spoke, anger writhing his being in despair. _

_“Hyung, we won’t let that happen. Remember we won't right! No one can do anything.” A hand slid in his hair as the boy sat on the bed. Kihyun was sitting on the floor, his head lulled onto the other’s lap and a tear escaped. _

_” They will take you away.” Kihyun whispered and heard a chuckle. _

_“I won’t go. I told you remember, the only way they can take me away from you is killing me and even then, I will be with you!” Changkyun pecked his forehead and Kihyun held his hand tightly. _

_“Kyun, promise me. promise me we will always find each other no matter what!” Kihyun said he was drunk but sober. _

> _“Of course, Hyung. Always and forever!” _

Kihyun was shaken out of his blackout by the bartender with blonde hair.

“Hey man! You drank enough huh… you need to go home. Lemme call a cab for you.” The man had a husky voice and Kihyun nodded.

“Thanks, but… but can you call… can you call Minhyuk? My contact.” Kihyun blabbered on and on. He didn’t want to go home.

“Okay man just calm down.” The other took his phone after Kihyun unlocked.

He seemed to be having a serious conversation, but Kihyun just kept drinking.

“Yeah… drunk… hours” Kihyun caught a bunch of words the other was saying, but nothing made complete sense so he ignored it.

“Okay dude, your friend is coming.” The bartender handed Kihyun his phone back and Kihyun nodded asking for another drink but the bartender ignored his calls.

“No, you have had enough. Anyways, I am Ravi. You are?” the bartender, Ravi asked.

“Oh me. I know, I am Yoo Kihyun a freaking demon!” Kihyun giggled at that and the other shook his head with a smile. The loud music was blaring in Kihyun’s ears. His head was aching too badly so he slammed his head on the table lightly.

“KIHYUN!” Kihyun’s drunken state got up and walked towards the voice.

“HEY KIHYUN!” he followed, out the door of the bar after he had paid even though the Ravi guy tried stopping him.

“Kihyunnie.” The voice was calling him so he followed diligently. Into the back alley.

“Changkyun?” Kihyun asked, looking around.

“OII KIHYUN” Kihyun blinked to Minhyuk dragging him out the alley and into his own car.

“What the fuck man? Why did you drink so much?” Minhyuk interrogated as he started the engine.

“Min, someone was calling me,” Kihyun said as he opened the door to leave the car.

“NO WAIT YOU FUCKER!” Minhyuk grabbed his wrist before he could leave and put his belt on.

In silence he drove to his own house with Kihyun looking out the window, head barely in control. His eyes dropping. He was really tired. His brain was throwing things at him, and he felt like falling but no one was there to catch.

He knew there was someone who was once there to catch him and keep him close when he lost control. To whisper sweet words in his ears when he felt like giving up. Changkyun was there to hold him, to keep him in touch, in control, to make sure Kihyun never lost his way.

But he doesn’t know where Changkyun is anymore and in the end, he knows it must have been his own fault.

The car came to a stop and Minhyuk parked and got out, he opened Kihyun’s door and dragged him out and in his own house.

“Honey is sleeping so don’t make much noise,” Minhyuk whispered and Kihyun nodded. Kihyun didn’t plan on making any noises. He just wanted to sleep, just needed to sleep.

Minhyuk laid him down on the couch and went inside to get a spare blanket… Kihyun doesn’t know when but he fell asleep before Minhyuk had returned.

_“Sometimes I wonder that if you hadn’t accidentally almost killed me that day, we wouldn’t have met. I would be somewhere and you would be elsewhere.” Changkyun smiled, his own words made not much sense to himself. _

_“Yeah and then when I saw you, I was like, WOAH did it hurt when you fell from heaven? And you went ahead and were like, yeah it actually did a little!” Kihyun with under-eyes dimples on full display as he threw his head back, an airy laugh filling the surrounding. _

_Changkyun pouted and lightly punched his arm. _

_“You are a mean asshole,” Changkyun muttered and Kihyun nodded. _

_“Of course, I am. But! Remember you said it yourself, I am your mean asshole.” Kihyun said with a smirk forming on his full lips. _

_“Ughh, hyung stoppppp!” Changkyun whined and Kihyun pulled the other against his chest. _

_“I love you Kyun! And I would rather die the most painful death then have you taken from me.” Kihyun said, voice serious as he looked in Changkyun’s brown sparkling orbs. _

_“Aha, but I won’t let you die hyung. And I love you too. You promised me freaking FOREVER!” Changkyun screamed in a pitched voice and Kihyun laughed again at his antics. _

_“Yeah, I did. Oh man, now I have to endure you throughout my forever…” Kihyun teased, trying to keep his laughter from bubbling up. Changkyun pouted again and pinched Kihyun really hard. _

_“OII OII! YOU SHIT, IT HURTS” Changkyun got up from Kihyun’s lap and started running as Kihyun chased his around the park. the stars were shining and everything was perfect. Changkyun’s melodious laughter-filled Kihyun’s being and everything was amazing._

_ Their pitch perfection broke into pieces, their peace gone and replaced with the desperation of getting out. _

_The scene changed rapidly, fire surrounding them, Changkyun’s cheek bleeding as he held Kihyun’s hand tightly, fingers intertwined. _

_Changkyun took a step forwards and Kihyun reached out to pull him back. _

_“CHANGKYUN NO!” glass shattering… _

Kihyun woke up, drenched in sweat, breathing rapidly as Jooheon rubbed his back.

“Hyung, hyung you okay?” the boy looked worried, but Kihyun couldn’t focus. The only thing lingering his vision was Changkyun’s bleeding face and his desperate gaze.

“I am okay.” Kihyun coughed and Jooheon immediately ran to the kitchen to get him a glass of water.

“Hyung here.” He handed Kihyun the glass and Kihyun took small sips.

“I will bring Min hyung,” Jooheon said as he ran somewhere.

Kihyun’s eyes reflected those flames and those brown orbs lost in the flames. He felt his shoulder burn as if someone pressed something hot against it.

He felt his tattoo itch under his palm. He heard the beating, too loud. So loud!

“Min I am leaving,” Kihyun spoke and he doesn’t know whether there was anyone to hear his lingering whisper but he dashed out the door.

He ran back to his apartment, the sun just beginning to rise above the horizon as his feet carried him to his place.

He hurried, running upstairs, he skidded through a corridor, almost slipping but holding the wall for support, he took out his keys and ran inside his bedroom.

“OII! YOU THERE! OII!” Fear stricken his voice came out. He looked around, something, anything!

The room was silent, too silent. Kihyun didn’t like it. He hated the silence, it was maddening, deafening.

The silence became too much.

“You are back…” the husky voice returned and Kihyun’s knees felt weak as he fell on the floor, knees hitting the surface. Tears started rolling down his cheeks, a wavering sigh escaped his lips. 

He ran a hand through his hair.

“Are you okay?” the voice asked, soft. Kihyun felt conscious and he smiled.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” He said. His phone ringing in his pocket. Minhyuk was calling him.

“Kihyun where are you?” Minhyuk asked, voice filled with worry.

“I am fine, Min. I am here in my apartment. I want to sleep. I will see you later hmm.” Kihyun hung up after informing, not in the mood to listen to Minhyuk’s lectures.

He took a quite shower and brushed his teeth.

“I am fine.” He answered as he wore his shorts and a t-shirt.

“I was waiting.” The voice answered and Kihyun smiled because he felt like smiling.

“I know. Sorry, I won’t make you wait for longer now.” Kihyun smiled a little more.

He laid down, felt fingers combing through his hair. Soft, smooth, a hymn filled the air, as sleep took over his exhausted yet peaceful mind.

_“I honestly don’t get it!” Kihyun thought as he walked towards his destination. _

_“This is not my work. I handle bigger thing then this normally!” He sighed. _

_“Who knows what goes on in Hakyeon’s mind dude,” Minhyuk replied and Kihyun groaned loudly. _

_“Okay but, hurry back, your child in insufferable right now,” Minhyuk whined and Kihyun chuckled. _

_“Exactly how I feel about you all the time Min,” Kihyun replied back as he walked between humans. _

_“But Hyuk is normal, thank the hell below that you don’t have to keep Hongbin company! That demon is… wow, I usually live in hell and I am saying this but that demon is hell.” Kihyun sighed remembering Hongbin’s salty face. _

_“He is just salty because Hakyeon chose you as his descendent and not his ass,” Minhyuk said as a matter of fact._

_“Ahan, I don’t get him. when Hakyeon shows his care, Bin hates it, when he doesn’t Bin hates it! Like dude make up your mind. Anyways I am a thousand times stronger than that trash!” Kihyun replied, chest puffed up in pride because he was descendent of Cha Hakyeon, ruler of the underworld and everything demonic._

_“I swear, if you were there around the times of the seven sin princes, you would definitely be Prince Pride!” Minhyuk teased him and Kihyun shook his head. _

_“what about wrath? Aren’t I not more suitable for that!” Kihyun chuckled back. He turned the street and found the building. _

_“Okay, I found it. Gonna take this shit’s soul and will bring it for Hongbin to feast on it. The feelings as salty as Hongbin’s” Kihyun laughed and zipped Minhyuk out of his mind. _

_Yoo Kihyun was the second most powerful being in the universe, but he shared that spotlight with someone. Chae Hakyeon and Lee Hoseok or Wonho being the first ones. Wonho was the ruler of every angel and heavens while Hakyeon ruled every negativity and hell. They both lived peacefully unlike the myths and tales say. _

_Hakyeon and Wonho are very friendly with each other and very responsible, Hakyeon has next to no desire to take over heaven and Wonho doesn’t secretly loathe the demons and well their king. _

_They both are well aware of each other’s responsibilities. Without one or the other, the universe will cease to exist, they have their work laid out for them. _

_Kihyun walked in the building, still a little grumpy about collecting a soul, that is Hyuk’s or Ken’s work. Kihyun has better things to do. _

_Kihyun saw the soul wondering around and sighed. _

_“Okay, come here,” he said and rubbed his palms together to suck the soul inside but the soul was very stubborn. _

_“Listen, old man, you mass murdered a bunch of families and well their mothers! You ass. Come here.” Kihyun said but this soul was something else. _

_Normally, soul collection is done by lower grade demons and angels, depending on whether they will go to hell or heaven, but Hakyeon had personally had came into Kihyun’s quarters while he was sleeping and forced him to go collect this soul. _

_And finally, Kihyun understood why. _

_“Okay, have it your way. I did try to reason.” No demon or angel can damage the soul unless and until it is the only choice left._

_Kihyun rubbed his fingers on his right hand together as he felt a certain heat passing through. A hunter made completely out of the fire, formed in his hand and he whipped it, trying to grab the soul but someone fell directly from the ceiling and right in the way of the hunter._

_“FUCK!” Kihyun made the hunter disappear just before it could touch the intruder. Kihyun saw as the soul disappeared to somewhere and groaned loudly._

_“OII WHAT THE FU...” The intruder stood up and looked at Kihyun, ruffling his blonde hair._

_“Wow,” the word left from Kihyun’s mouth before he could comprehend. _

_“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” Kihyun asked, smirk adorning his full lips. _

_“Well, it kinda did. Ow, I think I broke my wing!” the other had a worry, lacing his voice as he opened his wings. _

_“WAIT! YOU ARE AN ANGEL?” Kihyun asked and the other nodded. _

_“Yes, hyung sent me here to negotiate with the spirit residing here.” _

_“It’s a soul.” _

_“No, it is a spirit Mr. demon, sir!” _

_“If, after the death of a human, its remains are going to hell then it is a soul and if heaven, it’s a spirit. And Mr. Angel, this thing is going to hell.” Kihyun replied, a hand on his hip. _

_“Listen, I am not here to argue with a shit brained demon.” The angel muttered and Kihyun’s eyes widen. _

_“Plus, you almost killed me! you were about to damage the spirit.” _

_“Firstly, everyone knows who I am,” Kihyun was about to continue when the angel put his hand up. _

_“Listen man, I don’t give a shit who you are. Hyung sent me to bring this spirit and that is what I am doing.” _

_“Well, this soul murdered a bunch of families.” _

_“All the families were drug sellers and rapists.” The angel replied looking at the details in his files. _

_“Definitely a spirit.” He replied and Kihyun was about ready to lose it when the soul came racing towards the angel._

_The souls or spirits, if touched an angel or demon, they can harm the others flow of power, which will make them sick to the point of no use of power for several human months._

_Kihyun took out his hunter at a great speed and whipped the soul, the thing burnt to nothing at the mere touch of Kihyun’s hunter._

_The angel held his breath and turned around to see the spirit gone._

_“Oh my god!” the angel said and took a deep breath. _

_“You are welcome,” Kihyun said and was about to fly away, as he spread his own black wings but the angel stopped him, looking at his own feet and feeling embarrassed for some reason. _

_“You don’t have to thank me. just tell your Wonho hyung to send someone capable next time.” Kihyun muttered and the other held his sleeve. _

_An electric current passed through Kihyun’s body as the angel’s fingers slightly touched his wrist._

_“Umm, I am the most capable one after Wonho hyung.” He said and looked up. Kihyun noticed the eyebrow jewel and smirked. _

_“You don’t actually have the visuals of an angel you know. But anyways... wait WHAT?” Kihyun asked as he realized the others words. _

_“I am the most capable after Wonho hyung but… but I broke my wing.” The angel was on the verge of tears for some reason and Kihyun rubbed his forehead. _

_“You, you are Wonho’s descendant?” He asked and the other nodded. _

_“Im Changkyun!” _

_“Yoo Kihyun.” _


	7. Your Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All lies will be shattered and the truth shall be revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry guys for the late update! I am really busy these days and barely find time to even write a sentence. But I will try my best not to be late.  
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. And comments/Kudos are much appreciated.  
from: devil_K

_Chapter#06 Your Lies_

_Kihyun looked at Changkyun and sighed for the umpteenth time. _

_“How did you fall again?” Kihyun asked. Changkyun was smoothing out the feathers on his right-wing, as it was a little rough around the edges and dangling like a broken bone, literally. _

_Without their wings, angels and demons cannot leave the human world. So Kihyun could understand the other’s struggle._

_“I saw a bird and I was about to crash with her so I closed my wings but,” _

_“But let me guess, you lost control and crashed?” Kihyun asked, raising an eyebrow, ‘Wish I had a piercing, that would look hot!’ Kihyun thought and made up his mind to get a piercing as soon as he returns._

_“No, I realize the wind was a bit too slow so I… sped it up to fall faster so I can reach and open my wings when I am close to the ground but I forgot that if I speed up the wind around me, it will become harder to open my wings against the pressure…” Changkyun trailed off and Kihyun was shocked. _

_“Are you sure you are Wonho’s descendant?” Kihyun asked and Changkyun pouted. _

_“You know what, I was going to ask for your help, but you are a mean asshole!” Changkyun replied and poked his tongue out at Kihyun who chuckled at the childish behavior of the other. _

_Kihyun smirked and bent down to pick Changkyun up princess style, and spread his own black wings. _

_“Come on Princess. Hakyeon will eat me alive if he found out that I met with heaven’s princess and refused to help him.” Kihyun chuckled and took off. _

_“Oii you ass put me down! I am not a fucking princess.” _

_“Well, certainly not with that behavior.” _

_“You are a mean ass.” _

_“Can I be your mean ass?” Kihyun chuckled as Changkyun face turned tomato red. _

_Kihyun always found angels aesthetically pleasing but they were clumsy and slightly dumb in comparison to demons. It was simply because angels were full of emotions and sentiments while demons, once set their mind to something, will achieve it without second thoughts or doubts. _

_“No, Wonho Hyung said I have a soul mate somewhere and I can only be with my soul mate. That is how it works between angels. I don’t know about demons.” Changkyun stated the fact as if he was really considering Kihyun’s offer for a minute there._

_“Yes, the princess I have heard of that. It is somewhat similar to demon bonding. Well you see, in hell, it is all about power, strength, and endurance, and also mean assholeness,” Kihyun chuckled and Changkyun pouted again. _

_“If your partner strengthens your ability, twice the size of your original powers, then well that’s your soulmate,” Kihyun explained and Changkyun’s eyes widen. _

_“So, like if my powers make you twice as strong as you are now, I would be your soul mate?” Changkyun asked, without thinking about his words and his example. _

_“Hmm, yes. It is that simple. Now here we are. Run along and tell Wonho to stop interfering with my work.” Kihyun paused just outside the gates of heaven._

_Demons aren’t allowed inside if not invited by Wonho himself and a similar rule for angels about hell._

_The guardian of the gates of heaven, Son Hyunwoo, rushed towards them and took out his hand for Changkyun to take. _

_“What happened, Kyun?” Hyunwoo asked, tone worried but not shown from expressions. _

_“I broke my wing and Kihyun helped me back here. Thank you descendent of Hakyeon. I shall forever remember this.” Changkyun turned all formal and Kihyun sighed. _

_“Uff the duties and responsibilities. I shall see you again sometime descendent of Wonho and small angel, Shownu Hyung, he broke his wing, please do take care of him.” Kihyun knew Hyunwoo from long ago. Whenever Hakyeon would bring him for meetings, Kihyun would spend them in the company of the silent but fun gatekeeper of heaven. _

_“I will. Thanks, Kihyunnie.” Shownu answered and Kihyun glared at him. _

_“Someday I will kill you for that nickname. Take care princess, invite me some time for tea.” Kihyun winked at Changkyun and flew straight downwards, his wings carrying him with elegance, Changkyun hasn’t even seen in angels._

Kihyun woke up from his slumber and rubbed the tears in his eyes.

“I remember.” He whispered. His memories clear than ever. His red hair shinning in the soft sunrays.

He smiled and looked around.

“Oii, you still there?” Kihyun asked and the voice came fast.

“YES, MAN. Get me out already. I am tired of sitting in this… whatever this is.” The voice said.

“By the way, are you alright? You, kind off freaked me out yesterday.” The deep voice asked, worry-filled Kihyun’s thoughts but he shook it out.

“Yeah, I just found a way to get you out and get your memories back,” Kihyun replied and the other screamed.

“Calm down you little brat. Can you see me?” Kihyun asked and waited for answers.

“No. I can feel your presence though.” The voice replied, thoughts jumbled up.

“Okay, I know why. We are connected after all.” Kihyun smiled.

He looked around and sighed. Time to give Minhyuk a heart attack.

Kihyun cleared his mind and smirked.

“YOU FUCK!” Kihyun thought.

“OH MY GOD, KIHYUNNNNNNN, YOU REMEMBERED I AM COMING OVER, WAIT FOR ME!” Minhyuk replied sooner than he had thought. 

Minhyuk appeared in front of his face in an instant and jumped on the shorter.

“I seriously thought it would take you longer, I am so glad you remembered,” Minhyuk screamed in Kihyun’s ear. Kihyun threw him away and smiled.

“I am glad I remembered early,” Kihyun said as he stretched his back and neck.

Huge black wings appeared and Kihyun relaxed.

“Been too fucking long.” he groaned as he fluttered his wings lightly.

_I woke up, not remembering anything. _

_It was a struggle but it was what it was. I tried hard, I ran for miles and miles again. I would always end up in the same place. In front of a mirror. It reflected my blonde hair and a small silver piercing on my eye-brow. It showed me, but I don’t know how I am?_

_I felt desolated at most times, empty. I don’t know, I felt nothing. _

_Other times, I would feel too much, filled with emotions that I don’t know, belong to whom. _

_Then I felt a presence so I started wailing, screaming to help me. I couldn’t see them, but my heart filled with emotions once I heard their heartbeat. Who are you? I asked yet again. _

_I asked and asked and I blacked out. I couldn’t remember anything. Except for pink hair. _

_I sat in front of the mirror again when they left the house. I looked bad, disheveled, dirty. A feather falling from my back and I picked it up. an electric current passed my body. _

_What am I? with big white wings but I can’t fly? What the hell am I? _

_I felt them again and my heartbeat stabilized._

_I was always searching for the truth. For my own truth. _

_I couldn’t find, I would always lose consciousness if I did._

_I was beginning to lose hope._

_Then I finally heard him, “Who is there?” _

_I felt joy spread through my body, but also fear. _

_I asked him for help and he agreed. _

“So, everyone’s here!” Minhyuk said and everyone nodded. Minhyuk already told everyone that Kihyun had recovered his memories.

“As Min told you all. Yes, I did recover my memories.” Kihyun said and his eyes laid on Wonho, he walked closer and bent down on one knee. Head hanging as he bowed.

“Forgive me because I broke my promise to you.” Afterall Kihyun was not the ruler yet.

“Kihyunnie please, you are also under my care and I love you just like everyone else in this room.” Wonho immediately hugged him and Kihyun smiled. Always soft.

“I know where Changkyun is.” And everyone held their breath at that single sentence.

It was a moment where all lies will be shattered and the truth will be revealed.

“Your lies wouldn’t have fixed anything.” The voice came, as a man walked into the room filled with darkness.

“I know.” He replied. Sitting in the dark with a book in hand.

“I need more time for this power to spread within me.”

“We don’t have that. We never did. If Hakyeon finds out or Kihyun, hell forbids, regain his memories, it would be bad for us.”

“I know, just wait and watch. Neither Kihyun nor Changkyun would ever recover. Because dear Ki doesn’t know the other lost his memories. He thought a simple barrier would stop me from reaching Changkyun. well, Kihyun fucked up big time!”


	8. SHORT BREAK

Guys, how are you?   
Firstly, I would like to apologize for not updating last week. I am really sorry, I was sick so I couldnt finish writing the chapter!   
Secondly, I have decided to take a short break from this story, I might upload a one shot or something but for a while I won't be updating this story!   
Lately, I have been feeling rather confused and unsatisfied with my plot and I don't want to disappoint any of my readers with half ass written story!   
I promise I will comeback soon and will be better then before! 

Thank u for reading Shatter Me and thank u for all the support. I hope u keep supporting me this way! 

From Devil_K


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